When two people who have declared undying love for each other, express desire to become husband and wife, even though both of them are unemployed, can they be advised to tie the knot?
Some of the respondents of the question (Photos: Punch)
Should Two Unemployed Lovers Get Married? Here are the responses of Nigerian youths...
The woman will engage in extra-marital affair - Adu Oluwafemi
No, I do not advise that unemployed lovers get married at all. Yes, they might love each other so much but they have to put a lot of things into consideration. The lady might understand at the beginning but in the long run, she would get tired because she will need him to provide her needs. If the man can’t, she will engage in extra-marital affairs and that is where the problems will begin.
They will get tired of each other - Akinwekomi Idayat
No, they shouldn’t get married. Marriage is actually meant for everyone, but best enjoyed when it’s complete. Money or a source of income is major in marriage. They would definitely get tired of each other after some time due to hardship. So far they have themselves already, they can always get engaged and then move on in getting a job to build their family. Children, responsibilities come up after marriage and they would require money to carry on. So they should get something good first before getting married.
They should have at least a handiwork - Komolafe Temidayo
Maybe in the past, people did that but not in this present century. They will not enjoy their marriage because numerous bills will arise and also, there will be expectations from both families, especially the siblings. They might have a mindset that things will work out after the ceremony but it is never that way. It is advisable that they have at least a handiwork before taking such step.
They would become liabilities to each other - Adeyemo Ope
No, unemployed lovers shouldn’t get married; how would they feed when they have no source of income? If the wife gets pregnant and starts having children, how do they cater for them? Things like that should be put into consideration before thinking of getting married. They would become liabilities to each other.
All that matters is love - Adeyemi Clement
I do not believe that lovers must be employed before they can get married. Marriage between a man and a woman should not be based on their job. In the long run, they can start up a small scale business or have a handiwork. All that matters is love because if they love each other, things will work out fine. The woman would need a bit of endurance to make the relationship between her and her husband work out but it is advisable that before they give birth, they should have a source of income.
It is not a good step to take - Ugbaka Blessing
It is advisable that they get a job before getting married. Before they begin to have kids, they may be having support from friends and family and they know how to manage the little they have. But when they start having kids, they both would have to provide food, clothes, pay school fees etc. and when they can’t provide for the kids, they would turn them to street hawkers. It is not a good step to take, especially for the man.
The man will lose his respect - Oluwatimilehin Hassan
I think it depends on both lovers and what they believe about each other. If the woman believes in her husband’s dream that he can make it, then he will. I don’t believe anyone would enter a situation where they don’t believe they would succeed. But they are very much entitled to get married because they can succeed but it’s a very risky situation if both of them don’t have any source of income. It is okay for a woman to get married without a job but it is not advisable for a man. He will lose his respect.
The woman will get fed up - Zainab Jimoh
I do not think unemployed lovers should get married. Even if their family decide to assist them during the wedding ceremony, they would not be there forever because they have their own family to take care of. Once they are legally married, they become their own responsibility, not to even talk of when they bear a child, how do they intend to take care of themselves? The woman would change gradually because she will get fed up whether they love each other or not.
Love will not take care of responsibilities - Akorede Alade
Getting married while unemployed is a big problem because the love will not last forever when there are so many responsibilities at hand. No matter the extent of love how they both have for each other, it will get to a certain stage where love would not be able to help the situation on ground. The woman would start to disrespect the man and before you know it, families will get involved in their business. I do not encourage such a thing at all.
They should sort things out before marriage - Laura Uka
Marriage is not a child’s play; it is a life long journey and when you are in it, there is no going back. It becomes more challenging when they plan to bring lives into this world. It is absolutely not advisable for unemployed lovers to get married. They should put things in place before taking that journey filled with different colours. Things like being able to provide the basic needs cannot be negotiated. They need a means of survival even if it is small. They cannot rely on their family members for everything.
Source: Punch
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